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Title: Four Times Tosh Considered Running Away and The Reason She Didn’t
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Tosh
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Well, I own my new flat, but not Torchwood.)
Spoilers: None
Summary: In return for her release, Tosh promised Jack five years. It wasn't always an easy promise to keep.

Author's Note: Written for Optional Round 4.99 of writerinadrawer

Four Times Tosh Considered Running Away and The Reason She Didn’t

The first time was nine days after she joined.

She thought she'd known what she was getting herself into, when she agreed to Jack's offer. And it wasn't that he'd misrepresented anything… perhaps she'd just made the assumption that he had. After so many months where no one told her anything straight, the last thing she'd expected was the stone cold truth.

But still, she'd known it would be dangerous. She'd known it would require ingenuity. She'd known it would involve things she'd never have believed if she hadn't seen them with her own two eyes. She'd even rather suspected that Jack's management style would be unique, to say the least.

What she hadn't expected was to find herself practically swimming in a large puddle of something that, until five seconds ago, had been a rampaging alien life form seemingly intent on eating her. The slimy guts were warm as they seeped between her fingers, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was she could feel trickling down past her ear.

Just for a moment, she considered what it would take to disappear. She had the resources at her disposal, now, to make it very hard to find her – even for Jack.

But she had made him a deal, and she wasn't sure she was ready for a life on the run.

For now, she'd take the alien guts and everything they came with. She could reconsider later.

She did, although not for several months. And really, it was never a serious consideration to start with. Just a passing thought as she curled up miserably on the pathetic excuse of a bed Jack had confined her to while she was under quarantine.

She blamed it on the fact that she hadn't seen daylight in four days. She hadn't been out of this little room for three and a half of them. She hadn't seen anyone but Jack – not even Suzie – in that time. She'd asked Jack why, since he appeared to be coming and going from her room without problems, but he'd claimed immunity and brushed it off. He had an annoying habit of doing that.

Whatever the truth was, the virus she'd somehow caught from the dust in that Velaxian escape pod didn't seem to be affecting Jack in the slightest. He'd been in and out numerous times daily, dispensing food and books and a foul tasting liquid he claimed would help her recover.

If she hadn't had the suspicion he was telling the truth, she'd have refused it, but she wanted out. Soon.

Considering the isolation, it was no wonder the urge to run, run and never look back, had surfaced. But after all, it was just a thought.

She was never quite sure when it had begun, but sometime in the months after their little band went from a trio to a quartet, she'd fallen in love.

She wasn't really quite sure why either, since half of the time she wasn't even convinced she liked him. And he barely noticed her.

Even knowing as she did that he was still hurting from whatever incident it was that had resulted in him working for Torchwood at all, it wasn't easy to be around him, to fall for him more and more, and have him so indifferent.

And the moments when he did notice her - when he brought her something she might find useful for her latest project, or forwarded her a funny email, or just stood so close while they talked that she could almost smell him – those were the hardest of all.

So she thought again about just leaving, escaping the situation. She wasn't even sure Jack would chase after her any more. She still had another three years to go of indentured service, but as time went on, the deal seemed less and less important.

And then Owen would bring her a coffee when he made his own and all thoughts of leaving – ever – would fly away. No matter how painful, she couldn't drag herself away.

There was more than one moment, just after Jack had gone, that she considered following suit. The deal they'd made was clearly null and void if he wasn't here to enforce it – she'd promised service to him, not to the organisation.

And without him, the place was descending into chaos. Despite Ianto's well-meaning efforts to at least keep the paperwork in order.

More often than not, the Hub echoed with the sound of frustrated shouts as Gwen and Owen butted heads over one plan of action or another. It was slowly driving Tosh crazy.

At the start of the third week, she set up a countdown timer on her computer. If he wasn't back – or if things hadn't gained some sense of order in the Hub – by the time it reached zero, she was gone.

She'd deactivated it before seven days had ticked away.

Tosh watched as the young family walked away, none the wiser about the terrible fate that had nearly befallen them. The toddler in the middle skipped along, supported by his parents hands as they swung him up.

Behind her, the rest of the team panted, stains and rips on their clothing and scratches across their exposed skin. This had been a tough one, but they'd come away the winners.

Everyone lived, and the world went on for another day, never knowing that everything had nearly changed for good.

They'd kept everyone safe, and Tosh smiled as the child's laughter filtered in on the breeze. It was never going to be easy, but this job was worthwhile. How could she ever give that up?

The End
Comments and concrit always welcomed!


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 7th, 2010 04:43 pm (UTC)
Wonderful look at Toshes time in torchwood.

Grast fic, it makes you really feel for her.
Aug. 7th, 2010 04:52 pm (UTC)
Aug. 7th, 2010 06:28 pm (UTC)
Lovely fic with cool insights into Tosh.
Aug. 7th, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)
Aug. 7th, 2010 09:04 pm (UTC)
*hugs Tosh* :)
Aug. 7th, 2010 09:40 pm (UTC)
I approve of this action.
Aug. 8th, 2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
Wonderful! I especially liked the third about Tosh's feelings for Owen. I sometimes wonder if she fell for him because he was the first potential boyfriend she really met after her captivity. I think Jack would have been out of bounds in her mind, because of the deal she had with him, but Owen was right there and single.
Aug. 13th, 2010 09:12 pm (UTC)
It's a possibility... there are any number of things that could have drawn her in, I suppose.
Aug. 9th, 2010 08:07 pm (UTC)
beautiful glimpses into Tosh
Aug. 13th, 2010 09:12 pm (UTC)
Nov. 14th, 2010 03:20 pm (UTC)
That reason was Tosh down to a T.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )



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