Erin (etmuse) wrote in etmuse_fics,
Erin
etmuse
etmuse_fics

Guilt - 20/70ish

Title: Guilt
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Torchwood is not mine. No matter how much I sometimes wish it was.
Spoilers: Better say everything through s2, just to be sure. Begins pre-S1.
Summary: Tosh has a brainwave, but can they actually use it to help Lisa?

Thanks to: My beta cazmalfoy for all her wonderful work, and my cheerleaders angelzbabe1989 and piper08 for putting up with me when I whine about being stuck.

Author's Notes: Happy birthday teachwriteslash!

Author's Notes 2: Voting is now open at Children Of Time - Brokeback Manor is nominated in the AU category - go vote!

Any and all comments and concrit welcomed! (Even just one word... please???)

Fic starts here
All previous chapters

Chapter Twenty

Ianto stood at the bottom of the lift, waiting impatiently for the cog door to roll back. He was running a little bit later than usual, and it made him anxious.

Despite this, the Hub was still empty when he stepped through the door. He knew Jack lived in the Hub, but he assumed that the older man was still sleeping at this hour, as he very rarely bumped into him on his way to Lisa’s room.

He absently cleared a few stray coffee mugs from various surfaces as he made his way through the Hub. In the back of his mind he noted that he would have to talk to Owen later about leaving empty mugs on top of the sub-etheric resonator.

When he pushed open the door to Lisa room, he found that, as was very often the case, she was also still asleep. Quietly, so as not to disturb her, he moved into the room and checked on the support system and medication lines.

Owen would check them again when he came in later, but it gave him some measure of comfort to make sure that everything they’d set up to help her was at least working as it should every morning.

Pulling over the small stool he’d appropriated for this very purpose, he perched near her head and thought about everything he wanted to talk to her about. Everything he wanted to tell her.

A flash of shame swept through him as he realised that he’d come to prefer talking to her when she was asleep or sedated to talking to her when she was awake and lucid. He’d spent so much time doing it before they’d come to Torchwood Three, and he’d found himself able to say things he might not have said had she been properly awake and listening.

He consoled himself that it was partially a reaction to her being intubated and unable to respond. If she was alert, he could tell that she wanted to participate fully in the conversation, and it pained her that she couldn’t. It hurt him to see it too.

Whereas if she was asleep, it was nothing to do with her condition that stopped her responding. She could have been perfectly healthy and she would still be unable to respond if she was unconscious.

It was the main reason he was so determined that they do their very best to find some way - any way - to help her breathe without preventing her talking. He knew it wasn’t a trivial task but, today, after the events of the day before, he was actually feeling fairly optimistic that they might have a chance to succeed…

The team had been on their way back from retrieving an as yet unidentified piece of stray tech that had turned up in Butetown. Ianto had been preparing the round of coffee he knew would inevitably be requested when his comm. unit had crackled to life, Tosh’s voice sounding in his ear.

“Ianto, I think I just had a brain wave!”

Other than telling him that her recollection was something that could help Lisa, Tosh had remained frustratingly silent on the details until the four of them trooped back into the Hub, a large, dull box-shaped item in Suzie’s arms.

While Suzie and Owen had taken the alien box to store it while it awaited further tests, Tosh had rushed over to Ianto, followed at a slightly more sedate pace by Jack.

“Ianto! I really think this could be a much needed break, and I’m so sorry I didn’t remember it before.” Tosh had been highly animated, and Ianto couldn’t help but stare at her blankly. She was excited, that much was clear, but she was also making very little sense to him.

“Tosh, back up a few steps. What could be our break?”

“It’s a bit of alien tech. I’d completely forgotten about it, but we picked it up a few years ago almost right where we found that thing today, and it all came back to me.”

Ianto had nodded along, waiting for Tosh to explain the significance of the discovery.

“We did a whole lot of tests on it and decided, well, Owen decided, that it was a sort of medical support device. I don’t remember all the details off the top of my head, but I think with a little modification it could help Lisa breathe.”

Tosh’s optimism and excitement had been infectious, and Ianto had found a smile starting to take over his face for the first time in days. “Where is it now, then? I can go get it, and…”

His words had drifted off as he noticed Tosh’s expression falter, and her eyes swing over to the Captain, standing a little to their side.

Jack’s entire stance had echoed frustration and regret.

“It’s in the archives.” His mouth had quirked in a joyless smirk. “Somewhere.”

Chapter Twenty-One
Tags: fandom: torchwood, fanfic, fic: guilt, length: 40000+, rating: pg/pg-13, tw: ianto/lisa, tw: jack/ianto, verse: guilt
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