Erin (etmuse) wrote in etmuse_fics,
Erin
etmuse
etmuse_fics

Guilt - 17/70ish

Title: Guilt
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Torchwood is not mine. No matter how much I sometimes wish it was.
Spoilers: Better say everything through s2, just to be sure. Begins pre-S1.
Summary: Is Ianto ready to hear the news about Lisa?

Thanks to: My beta cazmalfoy for all her wonderful work, and my cheerleaders angelzbabe1989 and piper08 for putting up with me when I whine about being stuck.

Author's Note: Oops... I meant to post this hours ago... sorry folks!

Any and all comments and concrit welcomed! (Even just one word... please???)

Fic starts here
All previous chapters

Chapter Seventeen

Owen glanced again at Ianto, who was slumped slightly in his seat, eyes staring at the opposite wall but not really seeing it. He was a little worried about the younger man. Owen had informed him that he had results to talk about in the boardroom and he had yet to speak a word since. He had simply allowed himself to be led upstairs and placed in a chair, his movements automatic and his unseeing gaze fixed.

Owen’s attempts to draw him back out of himself had come to nothing. Ianto’s mind had clearly decided he wasn’t ready to deal with what was about to happen, and, unable to simply repress the emotions given the situation, had withdrawn from the world in self-preservation.

Owen recognised the defence mechanism, but felt ill-equipped to actually directly help Ianto cope any better. He could only hope that, once the difficult conversation was over and they had worked out a plan of action, the remarkable resilience Ianto had shown so far would reassert itself.

Ianto’s blank look also drew the concerned attention of the rest of the team as they filtered into the boardroom. Owen just shook his head when they looked to him questioningly.

“Ianto?” Jack’s voice was unusually hesitant. Ianto showed no signs of hearing him anyway.

After everyone was seated, Owen took one last look at Ianto before deciding that he may as well begin.

No sooner had he opened his folder and taken a breath to speak than he was interrupted by the unexpected sound of Ianto’s voice.

“This doesn’t feel right.”

Everyone’s eyes were drawn to Ianto, who had apparently snapped out of his daze while everyone had been distracted getting settled. While he still looked understandably worried and a little scared, the determination had reappeared in his eyes. His gaze flickered around the room, clearly noting the puzzled looks he was receiving in response to his sudden statement.

“We shouldn’t be talking about this behind Lisa’s back. She might not be able to talk, but she can listen and this concerns her more than anyone. She has a right to hear this.”

Owen considered the younger man’s impassioned words, aware that the rest of the team were doing the same. Part of him agreed – when he had been in Ianto’s situation, he had wanted Katie ‘in the loop’ as much as possible.

The rest of him knew that there were some hard facts that been revealed by the scan, and he wasn’t even sure how much of it he could bring himself to tell Ianto, let alone Lisa. While he didn’t want to get either of their hopes up too high, he also knew that keeping their spirits up, especially Lisa’s, could bolster her chances.

“Ianto,” he started softly, still not entirely sure how best to proceed. “Maybe… maybe it’s best if we talk about this without her, just this once.”

Ianto’s stare instantly turned suspicious. “Why? Are you planning…?”

“No! Honest. I’m not saying that.” Owen interrupted quickly. “It’s just that there’s going to be a lot to take in, and I’m not sure she’s ready to handle all of it at once.”

I’m not even sure you’re ready to handle all of it.

While Ianto still looked a little suspicious, it was clear he was thinking about Owen’s words. The worry and fear were starting to take over his expression again. “It’s that bad?”

Oh yes…

“Not necessarily. Just a lot to take in,” Owen lied. Although he knew that Ianto would catch him in the lie when all the facts were laid bare, he couldn’t bring himself to push the severity of the situation in Ianto’s face.

He already knew it was bad. He had to know how slim the chances were of a complete restoration.

And although he knew it went against the sardonic uncaring persona he had carefully cultivated these last few years, Owen was still a doctor.

And he wanted to give Ianto hope, not take it away.

Chapter Eighteen
Tags: fandom: torchwood, fanfic, fic: guilt, length: 40000+, rating: pg/pg-13, tw: ianto/lisa, tw: jack/ianto, verse: guilt
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