Erin (etmuse) wrote in etmuse_fics,
Erin
etmuse
etmuse_fics

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Guilt - 8/??

Title: Guilt
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa, also eventual hints of Gwen/Rhys, Owen/Tosh
Rating: R (some later chapters NC-17)
Disclaimer: Torchwood is not mine. No matter how much I sometimes wish it was.

Spoilers: Better say everything through s2, just to be sure. Begins pre-S1.
Summary: What did Tosh's scan say?

Thanks to: My beta cazmalfoy for all her wonderful work, and my cheerleaders angelzbabe1989 and piper08 for putting up with me when I whine about being stuck.

Author's Note: Packing crisis was averted, so you get tomorrow's chapter today, as planned :)

All comments and concrit welcomed!

Fic starts here

All previous chapters

Chapter Eight

Tosh took a deep breath before grinning at the worried men staring at her. “Well, according to these readings - despite appearances, Lisa is still very much human.”

The smile this announcement produced on Ianto’s face practically lit up the whole room. Despite his conviction of Lisa’s continuing humanity, there had been a hidden kernel of doubt deep in his subconscious and Tosh’s words had just quashed it.

Jack was still torn.

He was relieved that Tosh’s scan hadn’t shown Lisa to be a cybernetic monster. He really hadn’t looked forward to the possibility that he would be forced to ‘deal with’ her. It was never an option he liked to carry out, and in this case he had feared that Lisa wouldn’t have been the only one lost.

The implications of Tosh’s statement had also rekindled a few of his fears from earlier that morning. Lisa’s condition was even worse than he had imagined and he didn’t want to get Ianto’s hopes up too much.

Yet, he couldn’t crush what little hope the young man did have. Ianto’s fighting spirit was what had kept Lisa alive this long, and if she was to have any chance of recovery, he would need to draw on it again.

He moved closer to Ianto, dropping a hand onto his shoulder. Ianto twisted to look at him, keeping Lisa’s hand in his. “We’ll do everything we can,” Jack promised softly. “But please stay realistic.” He let his eyes drift back to Lisa’s supine form. “There might not be much we can do that will really help.”

Ianto’s expression remained resolutely positive. “I know that. I do. But it’s got to be better than what I can do alone. I don’t think I could save her on my own.”

Jack fixed Ianto with an intense look. “Don’t you dare underestimate yourself Ianto Jones. You got yourself and Lisa out of Canary Wharf and kept her going all this time. That’s no small achievement.”

Ianto scoffed self-depreciatingly. “Really, I just got lucky. Without Lisa’s help, without…”

Jack held up a finger, silencing Ianto’s rambling. “You witnessed a horrific massacre and you haven’t had a complete mental collapse, that’s more than luck, Ianto, that’s you.”

The two men shared a fervent look. Jack silently - desperately - urging Ianto to hold onto that inner strength that had served him so well.

For a long moment, the room was still, silent but for the soft whooshes and clicks of Lisa’s life support system.

Tosh’s voice broke the hush, momentarily surprising the two men who had almost forgotten she was there.

“Is she awake often?”

Ianto turned to face her, shaking his head sadly. “No. Not anymore.” He reached over to caress Lisa’s cheek, his fingertips soft against her dark skin. “At first, yes. But then the pain got too much, and her breathing gave out.”

He exhaled roughly. “I can’t keep her awake without putting her through agony, and I hate to see her like that. I’ve been giving her the strongest painkillers I could get my hands on. Not always strictly legally.” He paused, his cheeks pinkening slightly. “But they’re just not enough.”

Tosh leant over Lisa’s body to grip his arm. “We’re going to help her, Ianto. Owen has a whole cupboard full of painkillers; he’ll find something to stop her agony.”

Tosh’s mention of Owen reminded Jack of what was ahead of them. “Speaking of Owen, he should be at the Hub by now.” He cocked his head at Ianto. “And we should probably be getting back there.”

Tosh nodded her agreement. “Heaven knows what Suzie thinks, the two of us running out of there with the new guy barely an hour after he’s in the door.” Jack smirked. He knew what he would be thinking.

“Right then.” He squared his shoulders beneath his greatcoat, a plan beginning to form. “We go back, we talk to Owen and Suzie.” He took a moment to check for Ianto’s reaction to the implication in those words, relieved to see his minute nod. “And we go from there.”

Onto Chapter Nine
Tags: fandom: torchwood, fanfic, fic: guilt, length: 40000+, rating: pg/pg-13, tw: ianto/lisa, tw: jack/ianto, verse: guilt
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